The Onion Hits Humans Where it Hurts Print E-mail
Written by AlterMyEnergy   
Thursday, 03 June 2010 15:50

Another great eco-friedly headline over at one of our favorite time-wasting websites:

New Eco-Friendly Cigarettes Kill Destructive Human Beings Over Time

RICHMOND, VA—Executives at Philip Morris USA this week unveiled Marlboro Earth, a new eco-friendly cigarette that gradually eliminates the causes of global warming and environmental destruction at their source.

"By killing off the No. 1 threat to the environment, new Marlboro Earths will have a long-term effect on the overall health of our planet," Philip Morris spokesperson Janet Weiss said. "If everyone in America does their part and joins our new green-smoking movement, then together we can eradicate man's destructive practices once and for all."

According to a press release from Philip Morris, the new environmentally friendly cigarettes work by employing powerful carcinogens that accumulate in the lungs of smokers, slowly breaking down their vital organs and eliminating the danger posed to the overpopulated planet by the human race.

Read the rest here

 
 
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